Secret Sibs

This past week amongst our family we did secret siblings. We each had a person and did nice things for them throughout the week. We did this to increase unity and friendship. I think it worked really well and I think everyone had fun doing it. It also kept everyone mindful of our family throughout the week instead of just thinking about on Monday nights and we had better attendance. I think we will do it again here pretty soon. My better two-thirds, Alyssa, has been the best wife ever. She has such great ideas and always does more than her part and I have to try and keep up with how amazing she is. She's a good example to our children and has a lot of the leadership qualities we discuss in class. I have and will learn a lot from her. One of my recent philosophies is that every man is my superior in some way and I should try and learn from them, so even if I don't like some of my children, they do have strengths that I don't have that I can try and develop myself.

fhe...

This week's family home evening was slightly less successful than past weeks in my opinion. Attendance was low. Four people, including myself, showed up to go to the corn maze. Everyone else said they couldn't go because of sickness or homework or just had something else to do. Since there weren't very many of us we decided to stick around and just hang out. This allowed us to include those who were gonna stay behind but still wasn't the structured activity that I had imagined. It was a good chance to just talk with everyone and get to know each other better, but when I first got this calling I had wanted to make fhe something that everyone would look forward to and make a priority to come to. I need to continue to try and plan activities that they want to come to. I have been asking people about what they'd like to do but it's hard with the weather getting cold and my wife is really busy so it's hard to get together and plan it the week before. I think that having a combined fhe would be something everyone would like so we are trying to plan one in the next couple weeks.

SHA Homecoming Noonday Acivities

This week I wanted to write about another leadership opportunity I was involved in. I was asked to help get volunteers and run the distribution of food at the SHA Homecoming Noonday activities this past Wednesday. I had a difficult time getting volunteers. I only got three from Human Resources when I was told I would need about 15 to 20. I was able to get a couple of friends to volunteer to help. I kind of made getting everyone volunteer shirts complicated by trying to get them to some of them beforehand and having some for the others there when they got there and now I'm still trying to get all of them back. But I had a ton of fun actually doing it and my team of volunteers actually worked a little too efficiently and we ran out of hot dogs in a third of the time expected. After that we just handed out what we had left: tortilla chips and mustard. It was fun interacting with the people and volunteers and I felt like I was doing something worthwhile. I love the Honor Code so I felt like I was helping to promote that through helping with this activity and I learned a lot about how events function at BYU and the planning and processes that go into them. I am also helping with two other events this semester, the Special Speaker Series with Lloyd Newell in November and I am in charge of decorations for freezefest in December. I am excited to help out with these and I hope I am able to do a good job.

Lead Now

I just thought of the FOL theme for this year, which is "Lead Now". I think this theme is perfect because we can all be leaders and now is the time to do it! Something I liked this last week's lecture was "leaders incognito". You don't have to be up in front to lead, you can be positively influential from within the ranks as well. Being in my first year of college, I'm used to everything back home always being run by adults. But now it's not and I can either shrink from opportunities to lead or Lead Now. It might feel weird at first because I don't feel like I'm a full-fledged adult, but if I wait until I am I will have lost all those opportunities for growth. And it's easy to say vague things like that but it is harder to actually find a way to really apply them and make it more than just a good intention. That's my goal this week, to counsciously apply this motto of Leading Now. I think I made a goal on an earlier post to get to know the people in my FHE better so I could serve them better, specifically finding out their birthdays and what they like to do for fun so I could plan better activities for them. I feel like I was partially successful I found out everyone's birthday and most everyone's hobbies/things they like to do/suggestions for FHE. I can still work on this.

Myer-Briggs Personality Test Reflection

My result on this personality test was INFP. Upon recieving my results I was slightly surprised at their accuracy. While taking the test I found the questions repetitive and seemingly shallow. However, I feel that my results are accurate, and even as I read them I exhibited behavior that proved they were accurate. As I glossed over my strengths and focused on my weaknesses/challenges that were outlined, I realized that one of them was being too perfectionistic. I was caught in the act. I feel that it's important to know our strengths and weaknesses as a leader so that we can be most effective and know how to improve ourselves. It's also important to know the strengths and weaknesses of those you are leading so that you can utilize each individual for the good of your cause. One of my favorite sayings/quotes is that"every man is my superior in some way". I believe this to be true and in those that we observe weaknesses or characteristics that annoy us we should strive to find in them that which we lack. We should not pass up these opportunities to learn and grow just because we lack the perspective to see the valuable qualities in those around us. As Steve Smith expressed in his presentation, I too wish that the results did not entirely place you on one side or the other of each pair of characteristics, because I feel that I do belong on both sides in some cases. However, I do feel that my stronger preference is shown in the results.

FHE!

I'm grateful for the opportunity I have to not only have the calling of Family Home Evening Co-chair, but also the opportunity I have to focus on it through the perspective of this class. As
I attend the lectures and participate in the discussions about leadership I am constantly relating them back to my calling and rather than just having all of these valuable things I'm learning dissipate, I am able to directly and immediately apply them and hopefully as I do so they will become part of who I am and how I do things. We have had three FHE's so far and I feel that they have all been quite successful. Everyone is coming, having fun, and there is definitely a sense of community. It would be easy to say that everything is going great and that I don't need to do anything better. This week I met with my better half (Big Mama) and we planned next Monday's FHE. This was an improvement because we were able to get it planned and organized in advance rather than at the last second. I feel I could also do better by getting to know my family better so that we can address their needs better. I tend to be reserved and not very chatty, but just having a conversation with them about what they like to do and what's going on with them righ tnow would increase my capacity to serve them. That is my goal for this week.

Leadership Role

The leadership role I've decided to focus on this semester is my church calling as Family Home Evening Co-leader. When I received this calling I was excited to serve but I didn't immediately recognize it's significance/importance. Later I realized that in our dorm situation without real parents FHE doesn't function very well so we need people to take charge, plan it, and make sure everyone comes that can. I also realized that Family Home Evening is important because it's a great opportunity to get to know your roommates and ward better and make those friendships that will make our college experience so much better. It's also a great opportunity to practice those leadership skills that I will need on a mission and in future callings and leadership positions. For our first FHE we wanted it to be really fun so that our family would be excited about coming every week so we planned a fear factor competition and ended it with playing pudding twister. It took a lot of planning and some preparation but it worked out because everyone came and I think everyone had a great time. I learned that planning pays off but at the same time you have to be flexible because we had to change a few thing due to weather. I also think we were able to get everyone there because we put up invitations and gave assignments to those whom we thought might not come so that they would feel some responsibility/obligation to be there.

Leadership Interview

I chose to interview my old young mens president, Brother Nichols. The following are the questions I asked and his responses.


1. What do you think are the most important qualities/ characteristics in a good leader?

I believe a good leader has a clear vision of a path to specific markers and a keen ability to impart that vision to others. A good leader motivates by inviting and challenging his followers to make personal commitments. A good leader is organized and delegates responsibilities so that all are part of the process of forward movement. A good leader looks for stragglers and assigns stronger team members to the weak ones. A good leader is humble and seeks for feedback and counsel from those he leads. A good leader is always seeking to create other good leaders.

2. How can someone be a good leader in their everyday life?
The most important way to be a leader is to have strong personal and moral goals and move forward to accomplish them while including as many others as possible in your quest. In other words "example" is all-important. Someone can lead by speaking up for the right thing even when it is difficult. Someone can lead by finding service opportunities...no matter how small...and inviting others to join them.

3. Who is a leader that you admire and why?
I have always admired Elder Marcus B. Nash, who is a member of the Seventy. He was my stake president as a youth. He always takes time for the individual, even at great personal sacrifice. He is always so positive and upbeat. He is a great listener and asks motivating questions. He seems to see what each person can become and then gives encouragement and challenge to step up to the next level. I always know that I am a person of worth in his presence.

4. How can someone become a better leader?
Take time for personal thought and contemplation on a regular basis. Ask yourself the tough questions about how you are doing with personal and spiritual goals. Is your path on track with what God wants you to become? If you have this assurance, then pray for insight on how you can motivate others to be on the same path. Write down the thoughts and impressions that come as you faithfully seek for guidance. Set short-term goals with firm dates to accomplish them by and let someone else know about the goals. Find time to report to that person about your progress. Then make these same steps with others within your stewardship. Always make sure that there is a time for "returning and reporting" on assignments.

5. What are some common mistakes that leaders make that we can watch out for in ourselves?
Sometimes leaders can move forward so quickly that there is not time for consistent follow up. Sometimes too many assignments can be given at once. A leader should always be in tune with the people he/she leads, so regular interviews/check-ins are important. Burnout can also be a danger if a leader does not pay attention to his own needs (exercise, sleep, spouse and family time, etc) and family needs. There must be a balance. A key is to involve family in the details of the tasks required as much as possible.

6. Who has the potential to lead and where does that potential come from?
Everyone has the potential to lead. The potential comes from knowing who we really are. Am I a person who by happen-stance evolved from a lower form of animal life, or am I a child of a living and loving God with potential to become like Him? I find the second belief to be much more motivating to become who I can become. Just remember the acronym: IALAC..."I Am Loveable and Capable."

After interviewing Brother Nichols and from my experiences in working with him in the past I feel that he is a good example of a leader because he has a vision of success and a desire to help those he is leading reach that success. He is also humble and self-sacrificing. He is a good example to me of magnifying your calling and hard work. He showed me the importance of serving others when he took a lot of time out of his busy schedule to help me with my eagle project and many other small things. As I move forward and acquire leadership positions of my own, I can follow his example and be a proactive leader that gets things done and helps others to progress by realizing the potential in others and demanding it from them through kindness and service.